Taste vs Personal Style: Why You Love It But Dont Wear It!
I've lost count of the number of times I've based my entire shopping decisions on buying something just because I liked it!
On paper, that might sound pretty alright. Like, duh, of course that's the reason you buy something.
But actually, what I've learned is that when we see something that gives us a shot of dopamine, a lot of us assume that's an immediate green flag for "the thing: deserving a place in our wardrobe and being a guaranteed "good buy".
When the truth is, relying on dopamine as the guarantee of a "good buy" is about as reliable as the sun appearing in London when you're heading to a rooftop bar with no shelter!
Sometimes it works out, and sometimes… it really doesn't!
IMO, when we shop, the name of the game is to set ourselves up for success as much as possible. Because who's got time for wasting money and feeling stressed, every time we open our wardrobes because they're full of things that don't work?
Your wardrobe doesn't have to be a carboot sale that, daily, you sift through, swearing with your fingers crossed, hoping you can pull something together to make an outfit that feels alright. It's a place that, even when chaotic (I'm more chaotic than Marie Kondo), can be there to help you feel good and make getting dressed a positive experience.
So what it needs to be is a system (non-restrictive) of curated items that easily mingle and collide with each other to help you create F*CK Yeah outfits.
I've definitely been an "I like it, so I buy it" shopper, but these days I am wayyy more strategic. So let me share a better way to make decisions about what makes it into your wardrobe.
Let me tell you a story
Last year, I bought a dress from Vinted in a very Vivienne Westwood-style cut. (photo to the right)
I love Vivienne Westwood. Always have. But I don't always have the budget (or the desire) to make that kind of investment. So when I saw this style of dress on the seller, I was sucked straight into the vortex of "I love that, therefore I must buy it."
I remember being dubious about the colour, but I ignored that because I loved everything else about it so much!
When it arrived, I tried it on, thought, "hmm… don't know how I feel about this."
Nothing was "wrong" with the dress. It just wasn't right for me.
It has a cowl neck, which never sits right on my boobalinas. The colour was so "meh" in real life. It wasn't in any way versatile—I literally tried so hard to make it work other ways, but with zero success.
I didn't feel good in it; even though the dress had a lot of interest and volume, it had a shrinking effect on my energy, which is the absolute opposite of what I want from an outfit.
And most importantly, it definitely wasn't ever a f*ck yeah.
So basically, our relationship has been stagnant for a year and has now come to an end as it currently sits in a bag, waiting to be resold or taken to the charity shop!
So what's the lesson?
I loved the idea of the dress, I loved it on the seller.
But it didn't work out because it didn't align fully with my F*CK YEAH personal style, aka the wearability of something within the context of what I already own, what actually works for my body, my life, and my vibe.
And that's the distinction most people miss.
Taste tells you what catches your eye.
You see something and think:
"That's interesting."
"That's cool."
"That's sooo beautiful."
That's your taste talking.
But personal style is about so much more.
It's about what actually works for your body, preferences, your life, and your existing wardrobe.
It's about how easily something integrates.
Does it slot in without creating a load of extra work?
Can you quickly see the kinds of outfits it would make?
Does it work with the silhouettes and proportions you naturally lean toward?
When something works with your personal style, you're not standing in front of the mirror huffing as you try thing after thing to make the item you love work, only to have nothing land. You're not feeling slightly annoyed or disappointed as you tilt your head because the thing you loved doesn't look how you imagined. Like me here
And you're not looking at it on the hanger thinking, right… Ok, so what else would I have to buy to make this make sense?
And here's the thing, this pattern doesn't just happen once
I flaming love how heels look on other people, CB always has THE BEST footwear!
But I CANNOT wear them anymore, and yet, over the years, I've still bought them, convincing myself I'd manage. Deep down, I always knew I wouldn't, but I really loved the idea of the heel, so I kept ignoring the reality.
Then there was a situation when I worked in a vintage shop. The owner wore the most incredible pieces and looked amazing. I loved what she wore. So I'd buy similar things, thinking I could recreate her vibe.
I couldn't.
On me, those pieces didn't feel powerful or cool! I either felt 'meh and off' or felt like I was in a costume!
The difference between attraction and alignment
Liking something is easy. But the real test is how well it integrates into your style story.
Most of my F*ck yeah outfits are created through a combination of pieces; it's not about one magical item. So the individual items you add need to add up to the F*ck Yeah outfits!
And in my experinece the pieces that belong in your wardrobe don't feel like hard work. They don't require you to mentally redesign your entire wardrobe just to make them work.
They come in and immediately feel like they belong and have added more versatility to your wardrobe. You can picture them in a few outfits straight away, and you feel excited to wear them! Like the polkadot flounce sleeve top in these pictures.
Other items feel like a project. And if something feels like it has the potential to be a project before you've even worn it, that's worth paying attention to!
And crucially, things that belong with you will, on their own or when added to an outfit will make you feel how you want to feel. So good questions to ask yourself are:
Does this make me feel how I want to feel?
Does this item make me stand taller and feel F*CK YEAH? Or does it make me feel awkward and self-conscious?
Because when you pay attention, you will notice that some pieces make you want to take up space. Others make you want to shrink, and that physical response matters, so pay attention to it.
The reframe
Here's the shift I suggest you embrace: liking something is a starting point, not a decision-making tool.
So the question isn't just "Do I like this?"
It's: "What role would this play in my wardrobe?"
"Can I clearly see how I'd wear this and create at least 3 outfits with what I already own?"
Not hypothetically, but realistically, as things stand now.
This isn't about stopping yourself from buying things you like or only buying things for practical reasons (that would be grim and very unnecessary!), It's about being more strategic, so you reduce the amount of rogue purchases!
Once you start thinking this way, shopping becomes more strategic. Your wardrobe stops feeling like a collection of random nice things that feel a bit disconnected and starts feeling like a curated collection of items that support your style and make getting dressed an uplifting experience :)
If your wardrobe currently feels more car boot sale than curated system, or your style is feeling more "fine" than F*CK YEAH… that's fixable.
Till next time,
Sarah xoxox
