A 3-Step Framework to Find Your F*ck Yeah Style Again (when you're feeling lost)

November 17, 2025•10 min read

There was a period in my life where, looking back now, I can categorically say I was very confused about who I was, what I wanted, and who I was becoming.

At the time, I don’t think I’d have been able to explain any of that properly — I just had this underlying sense that things weren’t quite right. There was this low-level “ugh, something’s off” feeling that showed up in so many different areas of my life, and yes, one hundred per cent in the way I was dressing.

So rewind with me a bit.

Around 2010, I left my 12-year airline career.

And when you’ve been in an industry or a job that long, it's not uncommon for your sense of self to get tied up in it without you even noticing. The lifestyle, the people, the role you play, and the identity you build around it become part of who you think you are.

At the time, I genuinely thought I was just changing jobs. What I didn’t realise was that it was actually much bigger than that — it was the end of a version of me I’d been for over a decade.

And as I walked away, I stepped into this strange in-between space where the old version of me didn’t exist anymore, and the identity of the future me felt very unclear. I look at this pic now and I don't recognise myself!

Fast forward to today, and things feel very different.
I’ve reconnected with myself in a way that touches every part of my life, and now my personal style actually reflects who I am on the inside. I don’t dress for anyone but myself, and my outfits always feel like me.

I now have what I call F*ck Yeah Style, which is when what you’re wearing feels like a full-body “YES, this is me.”

In this blog, I’m sharing how I got from that lost, disconnected version of myself to this place of real alignment and walking you through the exact three-step framework I use to help women find their own F*ck Yeah Style, too.

The Phase Where I Became "Fitness Sarah"

After leaving the airline industry, I retrained as a personal trainer — and before I knew it, that had become my whole identity. Like a lot of us do during a big life transition, I clung to something tangible. And for me, that something was my body.

And me being me, I took things to an extreme!

I started weight training obsessively, dieting heavily to keep myself in this tiny, “fitness professional” mould, and I even got my boobs done because I genuinely believed looking the part would somehow fix everything.

If I could just create this “perfect” version of me — lean but curvy in the right places — then maybe I’d finally feel enough and like I'd made it.

Ahem, Spoiler: that is not what happened. (Let's just say what preceded this time was a lot of work on repairing the relationship with my body and food!)

Anyhoo, during that period, in and out of the gym, I lived in gym gear because that’s who I thought I needed to be. I wore the same uniform as other fitness pros: skin-tight leggings, crop tops, and outfits designed to show off my body because it gave me visual proof that I belonged in that world.

And when I wasn’t in gym wear, I struggled knowing what to put on, so I tended to lean safe or lowkey. And don't even talk to me about nights out! They were a nightmare.

I’d always end up wearing what I felt I should wear, which was the sculpted, sexy, body-con look that showed off the physique, but then feel so self-conscious and uncomfortable in it because it just wasn't me!

And then there was the Christmas Day, I turned up in joggers and a plain black jumper (not even nice ones, they were bobbly and a bit sad). My brother made a passing comment, not harsh, just jokey, about me not making much effort.

And he was right. That’s how lost I was; I was struggling to connect with what felt right, so no matter what effort I put in, it didn't feel like enough, so I just went with safe and comfy. I remember thinking as I got ready that morning that I looked a bit of a mess!

It was a confusing time (as these phases of life and identity changes always are) because deep down I knew none of this was me, BUT at the same time I didn't know what was.

The Long, Messy Era of “I Don’t Know Who I Am, So I Don’t Know What to Wear”

That whole in-between phase lasted longer than I’d like to admit. I moved out of the fitness world and into online life coaching, which, on paper, should have felt more aligned. But the truth is, I still didn’t feel at home in myself, and that continued to show up in what I was putting on my body.

This time, I started wearing the kind of things I thought life coaches were supposed to wear.

Floaty skirts. Boho hats. Soft layers in neutral colours.

The best way to describe them would be outfits that looked gentle and “aligned”, whatever that means! Slightly spiritual. Definitely Instagrammable. Very much “ I'm here to hold space for your transformation,” earth-momma chic. A bit like this gal here!

In my mind, I was like, if I look like the successful (mainly American) life coaches I know, I’ll attract the right clients to me.

But it backfired! Because I wasn’t being authentic, it actually acted as a repellent to my dream clients! (energy attracts energy!)

Every outfit was a performance. It was who I was trying to be, not who I actually was.

I didn’t have the words for it at the time, but what I was really doing was hiding.

I was dressing for perception, not expression.

And in the process, my outfits ended up saying absolutely nothing about me.

The Slow Shift (and All the Stepping Stones)

During the pandemic, I went deep into the work of getting to know myself again. Not just a surface refresh, the real uncomfortable kind that makes you stop and ask, “Hang on, who actually am I now?” and cry a lot!

Coming out of that period, I still didn’t feel fully sure of myself. There was this in-between feeling.

I knew who I didn’t want to be anymore, and I had an idea of who I was becoming, but I wasn’t there yet. So I started to look for what I call in my coaching, stepping-stone actions and states.

One of those stepping-stones was connecting to myself — now and in the future — through my outfit choices. I began putting on clothes that felt closer to who I was becoming, not who I’d been or who I thought I should be.

So I gave myself permission to stop:

Dressing for a job or trying to look the part
Following unspoken style “rules” I’d picked up over the years
Worrying about whether something made sense to anyone else

Instead, I followed my curiosity.

At home, I played more. I tried things on. I mixed unexpected pieces. I layered random things. Some outfits were brilliant. Others were completely off.

But every now and then, I’d catch myself in the mirror and think, “Yeah… that’s more like it.”

Around this time, I also started working in a vintage shop, helping customers create outfits that felt like them. And something about being in that environment reminded me how much I love this work — helping people find their style and watching their confidence shift when something just clicks

And really, that’s where the idea of the F*ck Yeah Style State came from.

It wasn’t just about me. It came from working with clients who would light up when they put on an outfit that felt spot on. That full-body feeling of, “F*ck yeah. This is me.”

So I started using (and still use) that phrase to describe that moment when an outfit just lands and you get a whole-body “F YESSSSSS — this is me.”

F*ck Yeah Style isn’t a look; it’s a state.
It’s the sense of alignment between who you are on the inside and what you’re putting on the outside.

And that’s what led to the next part — the framework I now use with all my clients.

**The F*Yeah Framework**

How I help women rebuild their style — and reconnect with themselves

This isn’t about quick fixes or copying someone else’s look.
It’s about coming back to yourself and learning how to get dressed from there.

Step 1: Radical Self-Awareness & Acceptance

We start by getting honest about what’s going on for you right now, not in a harsh way, but with curiosity and compassion.

We look at the:

Relationship you have with yourself and how you see yourself
Limiting beliefs and stories shaping how you show up
Fear of being seen
People-pleasing and the shoulds
Safety choices and go-to pieces you’re hiding in
The rules you’ve picked up from family, work, and Instagram

It’s about pulling all of that into the open so you can actually see it, and choose what you want to keep. (yes you are that powerful!)

Step 2: Clarity on Your Next-Level Self

Now we shift the focus from who you’ve been to who you want to be, and who you’re already becoming.

We explore:

The future you want to step into
The life you’re building
What this version of you feels like
What excites her
What she wears
How she moves through the world

It’s about tuning into that energy, not the version you think you “should” be, but the one you actually want to grow into.

Step 3: Translation into Style

Now we bring it to life through what you wear.

This is where it gets playful and creative.
We experiment. We remix. We try things on.

We figure out what feels like a yes in your body and what feels like a hard no, not because of trends or rules, but because of how it lands on you.

We look at shape, proportion, and detail.
We layer. We test. We tweak.
Not to get it “right,” but to make it yours.

Because real FYEAH confidence doesn’t come from imitation, it comes from alignment.
And when your style lines up with who you are (and who you’re becoming), it’s magnetic!

So, to bring things to a close if you’re nodding along to all of this and thinking, “Yep, this is exactly where I’m at,” and I'm ready to Find Your F*ck Yeah Style, then here’s what I’ll say:

These are the steps. This is the process. And it works.

But if you’d like some support along the way, someone to walk you through it, reflect things back, and help you piece it together, I'd like to throw my hat in the ring!

You can book a free 30-minute call with me to: